Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential while ignoring their reality.

It was in the month of October, I was a representative for one of those seminars organized by the founders of different companies to encourage networking and business partnerships.

I arrived early and settled into an empty seat near the front. A few minutes later, an elegant older woman sat beside me.

We exchanged smiles. Then, one conversation led to another, and before long, we were talking about life. Somehow, we started talking about love.

She smiled faintly before saying,

“Young people often think love is enough.”

There was something in her voice that made me stop checking my phone and started concentrating, because she wasn’t speaking from theory but from experience.

After a long silence, she began.

“My husband and I, we were deeply in love or at least I believed we were.”

She laughed softly, but there was pain hidden beneath it.

“Before we got married, he always said, ‘I know I haven’t been able to buy you gifts, even on your birthdays, but I have big dreams for us. Once my business succeeds, I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for everything I couldn’t do now.”

She paused.

“I believed every word.”

She continued,

“Even after our first anniversary passed without a gift, I wasn’t disappointed. I convinced myself that I wasn’t dating an ordinary man. I was investing in our future.”

I listened quietly. Then, she looked at me and smiled sadly.

“Later he needed money to expand his business, I gave him almost all my savings.”

She shook her head.

“It wasn’t because he forced me, he would never force me but I believed his future would become our future.”

I could hear the regret in every word.

“We got married soon after and for the first two years, I kept telling myself to be patient. Then one day, he came home and told me he had closed the business.”

I frowned and asked what happened and she shrugged.

“It wasn’t profitable. That was all the explanation I got.”

She smiled bitterly and continued,

“Since I was already working, he said he would stay home temporarily while looking for another job. A few months became a year, then five years. Yet, he never built another business, or got another job. Instead, he became comfortable depending on my income.”

At this point, I didn’t know what to say but she continued regardless.

“I became exhausted from m carrying all the bills. The children’s expenses. So I resigned from my job and started a small business.”

She smiled and for the first time it wasn’t bitter.

“Ironically, that business succeeded. It grew little by little until it became enough to take care of the family.”

I couldn’t help but ask,

“So, did he eventually change?”

She was quiet for a moment. Then she answered,

“Not really but he helps around the business now. As for the futuristic man I hoped for, he never arrived.”

There was no bitterness in her voice anymore, only acceptance.

The seminar ended shortly afterward. As everyone stood to leave, she gently squeezed my hand and said,

“Never build your life around promises. Build it around patterns.”

I watched her walk away, carrying years of experience in a few simple sentences. That evening, I wrote one line in my diary.

Never fall in love with a borrowed future.

THE RED FLAG ALERT 🚩

1. He constantly promised a better future without taking consistent action.
2. He expected sacrifices while contributing very little himself.
3. He relied on hope instead of responsibility.
4. Temporary setbacks quietly became a permanent lifestyle.
5. His promises kept changing, but his habits never did.

DIARY REFLECTION

Some people aren’t asking you to walk beside them, they’re asking you to carry them until they become who they say they’ll be.

Support is healthy and sacrifice has its place but don’t build your future on potential alone. So, if someone continually asks you to sacrifice today because tomorrow will be better, make sure tomorrow isn’t the only thing they have to offer.

MY DIARY QUOTE

Don’t build your future on promises. Build it on consistent actions.